Aug 22, 2010

Emoting

Emoting.
For some, it comes as easily as breathing. For some, it may be difficult but within the realm of possibilities. For a few, impossible and not even worth thinking about. There must be others who do not fall under any of the categories mentioned above and emote(or not) to different degrees..
I don't even know what I fall under. But I do emote. To a few people, at least.
Sometimes it may be a spurt of emotions. Sometimes a few words and a smile may express what I feel.
There was a time when I was even called 'overemotional' by everyone. But there were reasons. And I am glad that I could get all those feelings out of me then-in the form of conversations or tears or better still, poetry.
Then, music had become a means of self defense for me. An escape from the reality of things around. Though it may still act as that vent when I want it to, it has come to mean more to me...Much more than I'd have thought. Something I can't explain in words yet.
Today, however, for the better or worse(The answer to this would occur to me in the future when my present would be my past), I am not able to emote as I used to. I will no longer run to just any person who might be able to console me for those few minutes or who would, in all probability, pretend to relate to the emotions I was feeling at the time and provide a shoulder to cry on or just an ear to hear me out.
Now, there are very few people who I would go to when I want to be heard, who I would turn to for advice, who I would let in. This may be out of fear of being deserted or being judged. Or it might just be maturity and an ability to fight my own wars.
Or it is probably the fact that there is someone in my life who might not emote the way I do and who might not have even felt what I am feeling when I am talking to him about it, but he is there. No pretense. No lies. He comforts me, reassures me, shows me the brute realities of life, and just keeps me going. Just by being himself. And helping me be me...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

ooooo i can relate to it really well :)

Pryathna said...

music as an escape? i still do that :)

Anonymous said...

theres nothing wrong in being overemotional..you have been through a lot and had to let it all out..
im happy you found 'him'
anywho, ill always be there for you even if you DONT need me :D
<3

Soumalya said...

Hmmnn, nice 1.. But yea, ur behavior is no surprise to me. With maturity changes the amount n way you emote. As u grow, you learn through xperiences & become better equipped to control your emotions. That is exactly what's happening to you. I hav no idea about the "HIM" but yea, happie u hav sum1 lyk that vid u..
My first read in your blog was pretty good.. I hope for some good, happy reading times ahead.. :D

Naman Saraiya said...

Oh!

PsycheBubbles said...

I thought u were talking about the :)'s and :P's.. hehehe! :)

Good post! :)