Sep 27, 2011

An ode to Rishi Valley

I wrote this on a bus to an ashram in Maharashtra as I compared the freshness of rural air there to that which I had felt on my way from Bangalore to my school in the hills, Rishi Valley School in Andhra Pradesh:

It's the same familiar air,
Hills of that same terrain,
But the only difference remains-
That it really isn't quite it.

Those queasy bumps on the road are amiss,
The toll we pay's much more.
It seems to me that all it is
Is the slow passage of time.

I want to believe it's the same Sun setting,
I want to feel as free;
But heart in heart I know the truth-
The long established hard hitting fact.

It was just a journey I embarked on.
It became much more than my world.
As two worlds parted, a new emerged,
I, a by-stander, just stood and watched.

Sep 25, 2011

Blog Award

I just got a 'Blog Award' from someone in the Blogger community known as Kitten.
Check it out here.  (Quoting her: "Now to forwarding this award..I'll choose my recent favourites:" )
Thank you! :)

Sep 24, 2011

Scratch Off Challenge (I am currently suffering from boredom)

I stumbled across this "scratch off" challenge on a blog and decided to do it for my blog too. Basically, what you do is  you strike off ("scratch off") what holds true for you. And I'm off!

I have/had piercings besides the ears.
I want piercings besides the ears.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.

I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I want a tattoo.
I can be self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/had braces.
I have more than two piercings.

Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.

I’ve had my pants rip in public.
I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.

I’ve gotten stitches.
I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I've had malaria.
I've had typhoid.

I've had jaundice.

I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to US.
I’ve been to Europe.
I've been to at least one other country.

I've never been out of my country.

I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.

I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve slapped someone.

I’ve kissed someone underwater.
I’ve chugged something.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.
I’ve auditioned for something.
I’ve been on stage.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
I’ve pranked someone.

I’ve ridden in a taxi.

Honesty / Crime
I’ve been threatened to be arrested.
I’ve broken a law.
I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve sneaked out.
I’ve lied about my whereabouts.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.

I’ve been in a fist fight.

I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone/something die.

Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
I have attempted suicide.
I’ve thought about suicide before.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.  (I will do this soon. Interesting idea!)

I own over 10 music CDs.
I own over 10 novels.
I own over 5 electronic gadgets.

I’m obsessed with anime/manga.
I collected comic books.
I own a lot of makeup.
I own gaming console(s).
I own a car.
I own a bike.
I thrive on compliments.
I thrive on hate.

I can sing low key.
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news occasionally or always.
I like to kill bugs.
I sing in the shower.
I’m a morning person.
I’m a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I care about grammar.
I love spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, blue, red, black, purple, or orange.
I would wear pajamas to school.

I like Martha Stewart.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.

I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there’s a bug/insect in the room.
I’m really ticklish.
I like chocolate
I bite my nails.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
My memory sucks.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

...used to ask if I was anorexic/bulimic.
...called me fat.
...say I’m skinny.
...have said I’m ugly.
...have said I’m pretty.
...have spread rumors about me.

...force me to eat.
...say I eat too much.
...say I eat too little.
...say I eat too fast.
...say I eat too slow.
...have called me a genius.
...have given me gifts.

I’ve lost weight.
I’ve gained weight.
I’m at my thinnest.
I’m at my biggest.
I’ve lost weight and kept it off.
I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.
My weight affects my mood. A lot.
I diet. 
I’m vegan/vegetarian.

I exercise.
I’ve fainted from exhaustion.

I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve planned to run away from home before.
I’ve run away from home.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want kids.
I’ve had kids.
I’ve lost a child.

I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’m a swinger.
I'm single.
I'm in a relationship.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I have/had a friend with benefits.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I don't like to depend on others.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.

I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

I’m a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I’ve kissed a stranger.

Bad times
I regularly drink.
I can’t swallow pills.
I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.
I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point.
I have/had anxiety problems.
I shut others out when I’m upset.
I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset.
I have taken/take anti-depressants.
I’ve slept an entire day before.
I’ve plotted revenge.

This was actually fun. Random, but fun. Try it out? You might just feel more at peace with yourself.
A glimpse of Calcutta, the city of Joy.

Sep 21, 2011

Shantiniketan: A photostory

My favorite part of the place: Rikshaw rides. In the evening, we were on it and passed forested areas where fireflies pretty much enveloped entire trees. One of the most beautiful journeys in my life.

This little boy was selling these handicraft items at the local Saturday bazaar. This wink-smile caught my eye. As did the little pink chappals and the bow and arrows that reminded me of younger, more innocent days.

This Baul singer was the most co-operative subject to photograph. He was singing Ekla Cholo Re in the most authentic Bengali way possible. A sheer pleasure to hear.

The local bazaar was a magical place. There were Baul singers sitting under the shade of trees playing by themselves. Some had audiences, some didn't. The vermilion in his turban stood out so prominently against the greenery. It just had to be captured.

One of the last conversations that I had on my trip was on the train back to Calcutta because I slept on the train after standing near the door for a while, something I always do on train journeys. One of my oldest friends and I chatting away after two cups of coffee standing there. Not the best time to capture us but still a happy memory.

That lingering memory

It's that faint hidden smile that only you could spot in the crowd that you miss. You came and left when you had to and that seemed all right at the time. I won't even try and understand why because everybody always has their side to each story, their own set of justifications and beliefs. But to what extent can you keep trying to hold onto that memory? Its already just a faded thought disappearing into what already was its emptiness. It never was more than just that lingering something in your mind, in your thoughts. And that's why such precious little is left of it. Look at it. How much is there and how much was there to begin with if only this is left? Was it ever truly there? Or another figment of your imagination, whatever that is. Can you still get that same scent or is it just an association that you impose onto your senses and bribe them to put it all together to fit the puzzle's pieces, if only for the shortest while. I wish I could remember to remember. I wish the memories were clearer. Sleep takes it all away and I wish I had never shut those eyes...

Sep 15, 2011

Two fools in love

A friend of mine (first in college) bought a synthesizer recently and asked me to write funny sappy lyrics for him to compose something to. The theme given: love and hope, two concept that I've become completely unfamiliar with. Hence, this.

No clear direction to take,
No balance to keep me still,
But I still keep on going,
To see where this might lead.

I pause and think,
It all comes back.
I picked you that day
To share that dance.

The first time our hands touched,
The way our eyes met,
The spark of yesterday,
It's all coming back to me.

There are times when I feel this isn't,
This isn't the perfect I always dreamed,
This isn't quite what I wanted,
It's not as easy as it used to be.

But then you come and make me smile,
You hold my sweaty hands,
You fill my life with surprises,
You make it all seem so damn nice.

I want to believe you're not really mine,
But there's no point kidding anyone;
I'm a fool, a fool in love,
With another fool like me.

Chorus: (don't know where it'll go)
I love you,
You love me,
We're not what we used to be.
But one hot kiss,
You'll make my dreams come true,
Now let me see what to do to you


Twisting and turning,
Seeing it again and again,
It won't go this easily,
I've always lost this game.

Beyond my mind's capacity,
This world unknown unfurls,
Taking me to the pits of hell,
Taking me through a slow fall.

Disintegrating within me-
My insides churn and flow,
It's almost as if I can feel
My intestines slowly grow.

Expansions and contractions,
Destroying every part of me,
They grab and pull and tear and hit,
And all I can do is stare.

Crawled into the fetal position,
I try and wish them away,
But I know that it'll make them only
For a prolonged time stay.

I check for the monster under my bed,
I repeat the unsaid prayers,
But the only thing that's left to do-
Is to accept it's all in my head.