Jul 28, 2010

The last one fell

Autumn winds came lingering on
My grandfather's tree it swayed,
The maple leaves would at dawn
Seem alive with the dull Sun's rays.

The memories of those days long gone
Filtered in and out of his disturbed mind,
He looked out the window at his lawn
In the roots,his past memories he tried to find.

One leaf remained on the autumn struck branch
Grandpa sighed and breathed his last,
The last leaf fell down in a motion like a trance
My feelings, the sky, the overcast

Yours today, mine tomorrow

I'd like to escort you to the other bank of the river but the existence of this abyss in my heart prevents me. The darkness feels cold. My emotions flow uncontrollably like this river. The tears, unstoppable. I will make the journey on another day when I am ready. I will join you on the lands you are about to explore and walk uncountable miles by your side. The past will be our present and we shall meet the others and dine with our forefathers. But forgive me for I will not make this journey today. My time shall come. I only come to bid you farewell and a peaceful journey. You shall be missed. Till the next time we meet, Goodbye.

Jul 27, 2010

Temporary Departure

Clutching on to your shoulders,
Holding the hand for as long as I could,
The taste of my tears in my mouth,
The flow that would not stop.

The emotions took over me
And I was forced to let go
Only to see you go away for a while,
Having promised me your world.


Underlying the fear within was the deep irony of it all,
To carry the loss be the deed done today.
And tomorrow.
For years to come shall it reside in me
Thoughts so deep one could drown.
In the breathlessness of the moment,
Emerging from nowhere,
Surrounded by the graves unburied,
Conviction needed to accept it.
To bear the loss alone I am willing
For it is mine own to bear.
After the decades of rotting,the belief shattered,
The legacy left behind.
Lost in time.

Jul 20, 2010

Scents and Scentsibility

There I stood, facing my back to the paan shop that I visited as many times in a day as I felt the urge to smoke. As always, I looked around me, feeling the energies of passers-by merge with mine, each looking for their own vents...

Ramu Dada, the paan-walla sat cross-legged at his stall in a dhoti and kurta that had been yellowed with time. As his mouth chewed fiercely on a paan, the remnants of the paan that were stuck on his thick moustache also moved in synchronization. The lady in the car awaiting her paan was quite a character herself. Her facial expressions went from angst to impatience to glee as she saw her daily unprescribed dosage get prepared. The driver rushed out to collect the paan for his memsahib at Ramu Dada’s nod. Counting the money, Ramu Dada spat out the red liquid onto the street, exposing his brown teeth for the world to see. The smell of the paan got to me and I moved two steps away.

Chotu, Ramu Dada’s twelve-year-old assistant was trying desperately to light the lantern for the stall since it was almost dark. His sunburnt skin and confused face reflected innocence. This was, however, a farce because he had smoked next to me many a times, having probably stolen a Classic Mild from the box when Dada wasn’t looking. The strong smell of the burning oil filled the air as did the light emitted by the lantern.

As I bought my seventh cigarette for the day, I was distracted by legs that led up to blue denim shorts and a tight black shirt. She stood there, still an anonymous dream girl for me. Thoughts of her would occupy my head all day. Her straight hair blew in the evening wind as she gazed at the darkening sky. Her petite appearance, the twitching of her nose, her perfectly shaped eye brows, and above all, the pensive look she would bear on her face had me mesmerized. I closed my eyes and imagined the smell of her hair on my face when I would have her in my arms. I opened the eyes to my reality, stubbed the cigarette, and walked home, with the faint smell of the nicotine lingering on in my clothes…

Jul 15, 2010

It had to be you

It's just one of those feelings that you can't put away as much as you try. When you feel it, you just want to scream it out in the middle of your college cafeteria and not care about who might have heard you. You want to keep running on that treadmill feeling a surge of energy in you when you start thinking about the feeling and how much a part of your life it is. When someone asks you to define it, you look at them, smile, and shrug your shoulders. In your mind, you are hoping that they get to feel it sometime in their life as well...To get to be as lucky as you are. A candle lit somewhere brings back memories, a stress-buster ball with a smile on it unnerves you completely, a song makes you cry. That feeling, novel as it may be in one's life, is just awesome!
It had to be you...