Jun 12, 2010

The first crush

It is all right to feel vulnerable to that one guy who makes your knees go weak. The one who you will always remember as a fond memory in times past. The one whose presence you would find yourself immune to sometimes but at others, it made the world around you spin madly on...The one who made you start listening to the nicer songs made in this constantly changing existence of ours that seemed so meaningful when it happened. What was it?
The First Crush.

It was in the summer of 2007. The first time that I felt that someone could be something more than a friend. My crushes on Uncle Jesse(John Stamos from 'Full House') or Frankie Muniz(lead character of 'Malcolm in the Middle') never did seem too long lasting so I'd rather not write about one of them. Yes, now back to 2007, it was the strangest way to develop a crush on anyone. He was kicked in the butt by my friend(the common friend who made us meet) and he said 'I feel ANALLY VIOLATED'. That did it for me. The sense of humour, the charm that he was unaware of, how comfortable he made me feel in our first conversation that we had when I joined him at the back of the group to give that violated fellow company as his walk now became a slight limp because of the kick...

The next day, we met again. He asked me for my email address and we spoke online for a while that night. The next day, we played air hockey and I beat him. Something was definitely happening. That invisible force that I had read about while growing up was pulling us closer. There were butterflies in the stomach when we were forced to sit next to each other by our friends. There were butterflies when he called me up on the fourth day to ask me to be his date for a social gathering in Calcutta called 'Opening Night' of an inter-club sports carnival where everyone would be there. There were butterflies when we sat in the tennis court on Opening Night, looking at the Moon together as my head gently lay on his right shoulder. There it was. My first crush. And blossoming into something that I could not fathom the cause of occurrence of. 

There was a lot more to that summer with him. The first rush of feelings, the walks in the woods, the holding hands, the rushed meals together, him introducing me to the Beatles' music, the swims where I would show off by doing the Butterfly stroke, the visits to his house, his visit home when I was unwell, weird conversations about random things, playing football in his garden, the double dates and even once, a triple date, the first one month anniversary where I was gifted a Best of Bob Dylan CD by him but where I didn't get anything because we'd agreed not to get each other anything though he said those agreements are meant to be defied. Tricks of the trade that I didn't know then. Now I do. Now I look back at each day that I spent with him that summer and smile. But what followed after I left Calcutta and went away to boarding school left me Crushed. One year to get over it. Thinking about my first crush that became something more leaves me feeling weirdly happy(Very unfamiliar territory for me!). A perfect mix of good and bad memories enough to last me till my last crush(Ever?)...Maybe he's arrived on the scene already :)

This post was written for Blog Adda's contest: My First Crush. The Pringoo image for it can be found here

8 comments:

(¯`•._.•[Raajii]•._.•´¯) said...

it is true - we never really forget our firsts. They are always bitter-sweet memories :-)

Sayak Shome said...

Beautifully sad!

kittu said...

:))

sanaya said...

Intensely personal. It takes courage to put it up in a public sphere =)

FRUITFULL LIVING said...

awww. this is the cutest you have ever written. i have the similar feelings in my head, but could never put it down so well. Ever. great write gal.. :)

Amit upadhyaya said...

first is always the most memorable one!
nice

Surreptitious Shogun said...

For once, I really like the writing. Honest and tender, reminiscent of fast fading twilight.

namit said...

hey very expresively written...but u got ur 1st crush wen u were 16...ahh i guess dats a bit too late..anywaz well written..