Feb 2, 2010

She

Her seemingly innocent laugh lures the boy
The laugh to which so many before him have fallen prey.
Her talks of her dreams, the past, and the future
Rehearsed so many times that it is now perfect...
Her moves, swift and graceful
She bends down to remove her stilettos and steps onto the dance floor,
Left hand around the prey's shoulder,
His hand around her waist.
They danced the night away
And went to his place right after.
The door was shut.
The next day, she stepped out, adjusted her mask, and repeated her yesterday.
The unending cycle.
The increasing list of victims.
A free woman, laughing into the dark of the night in an alley.
A cigar in her mouth.





I wrote this poem in class today. I want to know what you as a reader make this girl out to be. Do let me know. Thanks. Hope you enjoy it.

35 comments:

ruchir jolly said...

niceo :)
make it a song..seriously

Anonymous said...

Nice poem..loved it..
Is she a CSW by any chance??

Rohini said...

That is why I want to know what people think she is. Some think she is a sex worker, some think she's a murderer, some just think that she's a seductive lustful woman. I want to see the other possibilities.

sahilkhan said...

neat. represents the women who are running their own business or at powerful positions at companies.

nitika said...

i think she has been betrayed lot of tyms... so nw its her tym 2 tak revenge.. trust me shez adorable at heart :)

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

well doesnt really portray women in a very good way... she is evil and uses men for her own pleasures.

Kaushal Vaddiraj said...

a vampire seems a good possibility. I did think of a very lustful women whose motif is not love but just sex.
Artfully written though and could give this women an ambiguous character.

Ananda Narayanan said...

i could only think of she falling for someone at last, completely.. should happen, right? sometime?

Jolene said...

Evil.
Lustful.
Scared, without identity.

A seeker of temporary pleasures to fulfill the emptiness within.

The cycles are the trap she has creates for herself, like a comfort zone, something to live by.

The freedon you talk of, is a twisted one.

It brings with it, not joy, but hunger, for the next victim.
Another notch on her bedpost.

:)

tejaswini naik said...

brilliant!
totally ossum!!!
i love it!

Athang said...

Amazing poem.
sex worker? No.

umm.. its more about whos in power. and also a little about how shes after sex and lust.

if only the female was in the corporate world she would totally remind me of ayn rand.

Naman Saraiya said...

The greed to prove a point. A woman who shelters many others within herself.

Unfulfilment?
Maybe.

Mission accomplished?
Yes.

Mystique said...

a whore. a aerial killer. a nymphomaniac. a heartbreaker.

Els said...

I'm in total agreement w/Mystique She is a whore, serial killer, and/or nymphomaniac. Great poem...definitely makes one think. What did you have in mind when you wrote it? -- Els

Riddhi G.D said...

Well, I'd say someone rushing from one relationship to the other trying to fill in the emptiness. But it seems more a day than a time, so er..just a woman trying to fill some void within her, fooling herself- desensitized?

kittu said...

she sort of remindds me of the femal version of casanova so maybe she is jst a girl bored with her life and trying to find the love of her life.......

Surreptitious Shogun said...

She's God.

"Our Father, who art in heaven"

Rehearsed so many times that it is now perfect

"Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done"

And went to this place right after.
The door was shut.


"And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us. "

The next day..yesterday

"For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. for ever and ever. Amen "

A free woman...an alley

Anonymous said...

Its you. Even though you think you dont know it.

Varun said...

Not a woman I'd like for sure.
Portrayed in a very negative way, and seems to be indifferent to the ways her actions affect other people.

Bitch is really the word I'd pick if I had to pick only one.

varun said...

I doono who u r but.
But the poem was nice,presentation was gud.

I feel that the
woman is beautiful,she loves dancing,
she is just dreaming abt all the things which u hav mentioned in ur poem.

i m really sorry if i interpreted it wrongly..i tried my best

CathM said...

Does she represent the 'Dark Side' of life... all that lures and entices... beauty contained in brokenness?

Aditya Sriganesh said...

I think she's a confident girl with a dash of attitude who uses her awesomeness to fool around with guys...and she enjoys doing so and is proud of it!

Dev B said...

shes a woman who goes after these "prey's" to find some kind of solace....which she obviously doesn get...
shes confused...
empty...
scared...
she cant take any of these feelings...wants herself to be occupied...
hence the lustful behaviour...
excellent post btw! :D

Anonymous said...

a girl who met an unexpected death.. she didnt go to the hell nor to the heaven..
she is waiting for pure love...HERE...

Akanksha Arya said...

If you have read The Fountainhead : Dominique.
A woman with a purpose, but confused. Willingly and unwillingly doing what she does best : Living her life.
Strong.
Mindful.
Independent and Fierce.

Frodz said...

Dominique Was Different from the Girl portrayed Enigmatically in this poem. However, among the guesses made so far, Dominique Seems A Close Shot for the 1st half of the poem. Keep in Mind, Dominique Never chose a "prey" for the sake of her Amusement. In Any Case, I would Love to see the Poet's Side Of This Poem, and her inference of the girl.

TeNsEiGa To Me said...

i think she's the supressed violence of women from centuries past - time has added supression and oppression to her character and now she leeches on men - their bodies, their souls
so tht her existance can be justified, so tht balance is restored and men do not singlehandedly go down in history as creatures of filth and grime and invertebrates worthless of anything.

(whew!)

(LMAO!!)

Cave Man said...

You know what, Sissyphus, Sphynix, is not a mystery. But a overglorified slut.

She craves that a caveman comes and disenchants her delusions about masculinity.

A Spanish Proverb reads:-
Tell me lies,
I am a woman and time flies''

Seany said...

I love this! Very nice yet dark and full of possibilities!

arte said...

i somewhat agree with Dev B's point of view.

A girl who lost her soul and trust long before, who doesn't wanna trust or keep expectations..just living the opposite of what she was.

and u didnt tell yet what your thought of this 'she' is. :)

The King of Fools. said...

I like this, independent of the parallels with my poem...

But now that you mention it, i can spot a few... especially how we both think that this free-independent woman is almost predatory, we call her a vanquisher and the men (in my case man), victims...

should be interesting to consider what was going through both our heads to make such a powerful assumption...

Pranav said...

a female version of barney stinson!!

rijuta said...

Honestly, I don't think there is ANY thing wrong with this woman. And a sexworker? no. A little of this is in all of us dude. Maybe not with the same pace, night after night, but doesn't it feel familiar? (Especially with all of us having had teenage relationship'S'?)

sanaya said...

Nothing wrong with it. Its a two way transaction...girl gets the sex and the boy (presumably) wants the sex!

soumyajit said...

i heard it live yesterday! love it.....