Oct 21, 2013

Fighting a lost battle

It isn't fair but we have to leave the body someday. Some people get shot. Slightly messy end but it's quick. Others have their organs stop one by one as the cancer takes over till their heart finally gives up and then, all is quiet.

Too real is how I'd describe experiencing a death firsthand. I didn't think that once the first death you have to see or touch, there'd be so many to follow. But it's been a rapid pace at which they've come and gone. Once, I never got to see the body but visited the grave. Eventually, the grave was bought over for another and I had no say in it. Another, I never said bye but went about my normal life knowing that he was being burnt to ashes many thousands of kilometers away. With the distant one, I felt closer than I had ever before at the moment he left this world. But this once, I touched his cold hand and kissed his cheek before they took him away. And then the curtain fell.

I've said it to myself before but I know I need to say it again. I only wish I got to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye to someone you've known only for the few months that they've known they're about to die is strange. You hear stories and appreciate the way they're told, you wonder what habits drew them to this day. The smiles and tears become more precious all of a sudden. There is hope. And then, there is nothing.

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