Ah, yes.

These days aren't coming back, are they? This is it, right? You get to decide what memories (hopefully) you wish to create for yourself for the future, but you don't know what really lies in the future. And in that case, what's the point of making elaborate plans and having a pre-mature death for a reason you won't know till it hits you?

Some things appear so far gone in the past that you're not sure if it's worth including into your present in that same measure, and unfortunately, it's your present that determines your ****ing future. It's a viscous cycle and you don't know how to get off it or if you want to and what you want or don't want for yourself. You thought you were too young to make these life decisions on your own. But you're a few months away from turning a year older and this time, there's actually a certain maturity, or complete lack of it. It's disturbing to know that though others may not agree, you still feel too independent for your own good. You want to make the plunge, and yet, you have no clue how to even begin.

I must not regret this.

What if they forget me?
Have they already?
Did I even want this for myself in the first place or do I want to get back onto my intended path?
What path was I on anyway?