Nov 26, 2009

Delusional

This poem was based on 'The Reader' (For those of you who have seen it and remember the characters played by Kate Winslet and Ralph Fiennes). For those who have not seen the movie/do not remember the intensity of the characters, take it just as any other poem.

It bothered him that he had not achieved his dream.

It bothered her that she had been in a delusion the whole while.

A delusion of the love that he seemed to have offered.

Of the vows he pretended to take up.

Of the facade of a happy life together.

Of the umpteen memories,now too distant.

The fading away of once cherished times from her mind spoke for themselves.

She knew that she had been defeated.

All her life,she had taken everything that had come her way.

And now,it would all end.

By any means pursued,she would detatch herself completely,

The last thing she had to do.

Nov 25, 2009

Help!

This is a poem I just found written in one of my note books and decided to put it up.Though the feelings it expresses are in the past, the rush of the feelings again is overwhelming.


Help!

I cannot do this alone

I cannot keep walking the path of knowing.

I want to divert,yet again,

And step into that undiscovered lair,

No proof.

No sense.

A plunge into the world of dark,false hopes,waiting in corners to seize.

I'd rather the smile be shunned,

The only permitted feeling,pain.

For that is the only familiarity in this soulless dirty living.

A part of me ripped out,

Holding on to pathetic memories,and photographs,and scents.

They'll do me no good in the long-run,

My memory will fail me.

That is the fate I deserve,

And what I wish Thee grant me.

Nov 24, 2009

No escape


Entrapped in a world of singularity,

I feel alone, lost in the complexity,

It’s a new world I enter without you by my side.

Its new and scary, the rules I must abide by.

It’s been untold but understood that I must forget you

I despise my fate for having made me ever meet you!

Were you not in my life today I'd be free,

With myself and my thoughts, I wouldn’t disagree.

I'm happy it was you, and I miss the times

That we shared over the days, thirty-nine,

I know I’m selfish but I wish you didn’t leave

From neither me nor others can my pain be conceived.

You've touched a part of me that noone else has

My soul, if I have it, is now yours till my last...


Nov 23, 2009

And I saw her standing there...

The girl I've clicked in the photograph is Megha Bisaria.
Someone who lives in her own world and sometimes forgets how to get back to reality.
A friend, when needed and when she's not.
Funny, in an unconventional sense.
Has many blonde moments but yet, loveable.
Dances AMAZINGLY,especially to Papi Chulo and Head of My Class.
Food taste just like me-a lover of spices, Italian, Chinese, and the like.
Weird, in a good way.
In other words, one of my best friends.
Love you, Meg-Meg(I love embarrassing you. Sorry!)

Complexity/Simplicity

Life is not complex-you just don't see the simplicity in it!Its just funny how no one seems to care about the way their life goes by so quickly.They don't stop to think why they are who they are.They don't realize that being alive is so real!It is a true blessing in disguise.We take the familiar faces in our lives for granted.We hold grudges against people whom we choose to rule out of our lives.We make that extra effort to get some sort of satisfaction by fighting with people whom we then go on to say,do not matter to us.The world is a farce.No one can guess what may happen next and we constantly try and outdo our fate.It is such a pointless and tedious thing to do.Life is not going to stop the bus and wait for one more grumpy passenger.It will simply run over us without our realising it or maybe,if we're lucky,wait for the few lucky who hop on when the door opens,and in a moment's time,closes.That door is then never opened at the same bus stop for the people left behind.In this fast paced world,we either try to live as we are expected to or not bother running after the big yellow bus that is already four blocks down the road.As John Lennon says: "Life is what happens to you when you're too busy making other plans."

Nov 19, 2009

Unforeseen

Underlying the fear within was the deep irony of it all,

To carry the loss be the deed done today,and tomorrow,

For years to come it shall reside in me,

Thoughts so deep one could drown.

In the breathlessness of the moment,emerging from nowhere,

surrounded by the graves unburied,

Conviction needed to accept it.

To bear the loss alone I am willing,

After the decades of rotting,the belief shattered,

The legacy left behind with noone to claim it,

Lost,destroyed in time.

Nov 18, 2009

Murphy's Law: Verified!

Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Sadly, the law has applied to me one too many a times in life. I won’t be writing about the small incidents like wearing white on a sunny day that suddenly becomes a day with heavy rains, missing the bus by a few seconds, thinking that it is Media Laws class and you can walk in 20 minutes late but finding out that the class was instead taken by your HOD...I’ll write about the major incidents.

To start with the first major injury I still distinctly remember was when I was running up and down my steps in my first house on 12A, Judges Court Road while skipping alternate steps. After doing the same cycle of going up and coming back down a few fifty times, I was a little tired and on my way down, I felt slightly drowsy and lost balance and slipped on the steps closer to the ground than the top. I fell headfirst, bit my tongue in the middle of the process and passed out. I woke up in the hospital room after a few minutes, semi-conscious, and could hear that my tongue had been split into two and the part with the tip was dangling. After they operated on me and when the anaesthesia started wearing off, I was told that I had dissolvable stitches on my tongue to join the two parts once again. The only thing I was pleased about was that my diet would only comprise of ice cream and other soft food items. A stitch in time saves nine??? But what about the fact that a few months after that, my fingernail got stitched as it came under a sewing machine while the tailor worked at home? Murphy at it again, wasn't he?

The next example of how much damage the law caused me was when I was running after my dog, Smiley. I miss her dearly now. When I was 8, she stole my stuffed toy from my hand and was running around the house with it in her mouth. Her rounds of the house included jumping onto the sofa and leaping off. I must admit that I was not a very bright kid and when I tried to save my teddy bear from having its eye’s ripped out; I jumped onto the sofa and leaped with Smiley, forgetting that I would not land on all fours. I slipped, banged my chin against the granite floor, and passed out, as always. Another operation followed after the bleeding reduced, leaving the stitches still visible on my chin. A message for the readers- Please be careful! Keep in mind that you are a human, with 2 legs to walk on and no tail to hang from branches with.

The last incident was in May, 2006. This was one of the more recent episodes on the major scale. I was talking to Saurav Goswami, my handsome back up husband (who is madly in love with Manavi) at around 12.30 one night. I was locking my cupboard door after taking out something and my wrist got stuck in the space to be latched (on the left door of the cupboard) and my skin got stuck and pulled out. A lot of blood was involved. I told Saurav about it and he got freaked because I mentioned that it was bleeding and blood freaks him out! I woke up my mother who started panicking and making calls. Within minutes, my uncle had picked us up and I was taken to a nearby hospital. The skin was folded inside using tweezers and other medical equipments, I was injected with a Tetanus shot ‘somewhere’ and it was finally bandaged. The dressing had to be changed regularly and within a month, the pain had completely receded. Had it been stitched as was required (2nd doctor’s suggestion), there would be no bump on my wrist as is there now as the proof of the efficiency of the damn law! Thanks a lot, Murphy!

Gossip Girl: A victim's story


I thought addictions and withdrawal symptoms apply only to drugs, alcohol, smoking and the like. Such a misconception! My recent addiction to GOSSIP GIRL has definitely proved me wrong! Three nights before my semester examinations began, when I should have been studying, I said to my roommate, “I’ll just watch one episode of it and see what all this fuss is about and stop at that.” She gave me a very knowing, scornful smile and said “Ya OK, Good luck with that.” I was even more eager to watch it with that remark and then, I realised, I could not stop. I lost track of time, lost sleep, refused to study and eat, all to watch 18 episodes of Season 1, each being 42 minutes long. So that’s 18x42=756 minutes=which is around 12 and a half hours. That time was uselessly spent finding out why Nate Archibald cheated on Blair Waldorf for her best friend, Serena Van der Woodsen, who despite her glamorous life, fell in love with Brooklyn’s Lonely Boy Dan Humphrey, whose little sister Jenny was trying desperately to fit in and whose father, Rufus, had dated Serena’s mother, Lily, in the past, who was now getting married to Bart Bass, the father of Chuck Bass, the college’s rich, spoilt playboy!

As is evident from above, I was pretty much hooked till I finished it. I’d stock up on lots of junk food so that I wouldn’t have to go down to the mess for meals and so to say, ‘waste time’. I do not know if it was worth it, but somehow, I did reasonably well in my examinations. I could not make Gossip Girl my incentive to work because the second season was not available for one reason or the other. Thankfully! As soon as the exams ended, however, I got season 2 and the folder with the 25 episodes (25x42=1050 minutes=17 and a half hours) was put onto my desktop. My laptop was only left for the food or the use of the toilet. I sat and watched it religiously screaming out only one or two words like “Bitch!”, “You can’t do that!”, “Awwww”, or other such reactions to the episodes. A sense of completion and achievement filled me when the last episode got over. But then, the paranoia started for the search of the third season. I am not wandering in the corridors of Mhada Hostel, knocking on random rooms, with a pen drive in my hand, hoping that some wonderful human being would be so kind as to give me all the episodes of Season 3 that are already out! Gossip Girl. XOXO

Nov 12, 2009

An Inner Revelation

The mirror I look into reveals nothing,
The girl inside it looks unfamiliar.
In those dark eyes that were once so expressive is a hollow feelings,hidden within the tears;
Tears that fall from eyes that only smile,shed after a long held wait.
As i stare hard,I see you in those eyes,
As i saw you many a time before,
As we sat under the starlit skies,the twinkle in your eyes and mine,
As we parted,the genuine unwillingness to let go.
The eyes that I see now are no longer full of the love that we once shared,
In the seemingly long summer months,
The thought of which i now dread

Survivor

This is the culprit for trying to murder the frog that just escaped it's death on the Sunday morning of 24th September, 2009. Preparations were upcoming exams were not going too well and to take out his anger with himself, 'Anda'-the Rishi Valley football team captain sat down by the pond and starting aiming and throwing pebbles on the frogs in it.Throwing tiny pebbles at the frogs that emerge on the surface is one thing. Taking a pole and prodding it till it dies is another. One message for you,Anda-Live and let live!
The survivor is shown below. At peace with itself and its surroundings.