The path that led nowhere.

Holding on so tight I might choke myself.
Gradual suppression of my hatred.
The hate inside,the pent up anger.
The dismays on our faces on the news.
How could you take them?
One by one,the pain increases with the wait.
Coming in my way,the pain yet again.
Horror at the thought of white
The once so serene symbol of peace.
All it does it create images of red now-of blood, hate and sorrow.
To some,no concern of the breathlessness.
The pride with which you went, the pathetic hope.
Knowing that you have reaced the point of no return.
Just as if nothing could be worse,
A piece of information was received-
The birth of a child to her,
Not long after you receded,
Into the darkness.
Into the unknown.

Helpless.

The morning sun was warm and radiant,
The perfect morning where nothing could go wrong.
But good luck never stays with the innocent,does it?
A fact of life.
The sudden attack that could not be fought,
The struggle to live.
You lost. They got you.
We tried but couldn't do much.
We mourned.
I, the last to know.
Regretting having gone where I did,away.
Hating education as it gave no answers.
She broke the news to me.
She cried as I entered.
I heard, then locked myself in another room and cried.
The wailing muffled my screams and cries.
I pledged I wouldn't but I did.
You came back home.
I could not face you.
I took some steps in front,and then turned back.
So pale. Lifeless.
I found the courage.
You touched my soul.
Unbearable pain and no resistance to want to stab myself.
To be untrue to her and myself.
But i stayed on to help her.
Help you.
To ensure your soul may go home in peace.
Hope you're doing well.
Love.

Fading...

Cant keep in the tears much longer,
Cant push away the pain,
The shadow I walk with is my death,
It acts like a soul that i cannot see.
But I can see you,taken away to a place I know not,
Wearing white for the journey,
I pray it is not a rough ride.
I hope it wasn't a tough life.
I shall visit you when i can,
I shall bring the candles,the warmth,
Which only emitted from withing cannot reach where you are.
I seek your forgiveness to not join you.
He prefers you over me,
I squirm at the thought.
The true reason being Her.
I know that when she goes, you and I shall arrive with the fanfare and glory.
To celebrate our reunion.
To be one with you again.

Forgive Me...

far away..this ship is taking me far away
far away frm the memories of the people who care if i live or die
Life always does that does'nt it?!Gives you moments of happiness...pure bliss!! and then just robs you of them...Gives you moments of sorrow and pain,which never leave you!!!Either you grow old too soon and lose all the memories or you never grow up and never mature and accept the bad stuff! Or else circumstances come in your way that force you to forget or remember.They might just haunt you.One incident.One day of one month four-five years ago.It does'nt leave despite it all..You only remember one image of someone.Someone close.Gone.You cant remember a day before or after.Just that.And the events of the day keep popping in and out of your head.Unwilling to leave you.And then a couple of smiles thrown in here and there.A good memory. A warm hug received from someone who genuinely cares about you. A good laugh with an old friend. Or just pissing off your friend and laughing at him..Things that make you happy..They "just do"...For some odd reason,none in particular,leave a smile on your face even in the worst of times. Cherishable memories. But you cant just forget the bad memories,can you?! That would just be running away from the reality of the situation.But yet,its so easy to try and forget. To hate the cause of the pain. But we have to learn..learn to forgive..learn to accept..to take it in our stride..When you lose someone you love and they say "its fine,you'll get over it soon".But you dont have to,and you should'nt! That "someone" deserves to be remembered..If something went wrong,forgive the person...But for now,i apologize.
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out

I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you.

The Road

Winding and winding further till my eyes saw him not,
The Road dragged me into the dark
Yearning to see him,his corpse lay there,
Time,my greatest enemy smiles with scorn

Cannibalism

I wrote this after reading The Road-Cormac McCarthy:

The thought of it scares the boy,
He could not in his innocent head,comprehend the need of such a thing.
A man turning in on his own kind?
The end of human race.
Desperation to such an extent?
He could not even see it as a last resort
He remembered his mother,
He tried to imagine stabbing her and biting into her flesh.
He threw up.
Blood in the puke due to his hunger.
He'd starve but not give in.
Why was living so important?
"Death,take me,
Consume me before the next man I meet does."

Perplexed

How did I just know that second chances were never my thing?Why'd I follow the path of disillusionment knowing that i traverse it?Why would anyone in their right mind be himself when he knows that his true self is not accepted in certain company?Why would a person commit suicide when he/she can have a gala time laughing at the ironies of life?How can a dying man even think of who to pass on his fortunes to knowing that his death is lingering over him?When did it ever become right for a person to become the boss of everybody?Why are LOVE n HATE considered such strong words and emotions when it just weakens the person,bit by bit?Where is one supposed to find his true love when it is said that he/she is OUT THERE somewhere waiting to be found? What is the reason we are sent into this world? Is there only goodness in anyone alive? Who gave man the right to believe that he has the right over other "sub"species? Why cant evil seep into this world so deep that it becomes okay to kill yourself?Why is it a PURSUIT of happiness? Why did "God"not stop the "devil" from spreading evil & disease in his universe where we reside? Why does Pain ache so much? Answers always welcome...Just some questions that arose in my mind right now..

The Outsider

The cold and dark night.It was'nt right.It just was'nt.I'm sorry.It had to happen but I wish it had happened in a better manner.There are messed up things in life but they are'nt always in our hands to take care of.It happened.Well,things do happen,right?Forgive and forget? Can you go by that for once and accept my apology?Give it a shot.It wont make things worse at least.I needed to.I dont know what to say or do but well,nothing's going to ever be right,is it? This is our determined fate.We still have it in us to change things IF we want but are you sure we can?I want to.I really do.Get back.Make things right.Can we? Cant we at least pretend if nothing?Make it a little better? Ease d environment about us...Why? Will there ever be an answer? An outsider or someone close,an insider pushed away,shunned?The unbecoming of the outsider.

Sweet Revenge

Had written this one for a 50 word Mini Saga Competition at school...very lame but i still find it ok..

She came.The house seemed unnaturally quiet.Her room.There was something different.He came,gagged her as she lay helpless,motionless then.He avenged his brother's death who had killed himself because she had deserted him.He cleared up all the evidence.He left.Deception.Murder.Baffled cops.Sweet revenge

Serenity

From the turmoils of nature arose a deep golden,
Not the conventional silver lining but beauty unfolding,
Fate was shining,smiling down on us,
The storm of sufferings had passed,
We knew better than to take nature for granted,
Attaining peace and serenity was all we'd ever wanted.